Samsung Stalker!

It’s funny how along a spectrum of things which the average punter would find really easy versus highly specialised skills which only a few can successfully complete, I have very little consistency at either end. Take my mobile phone for example. After using a Blackberry for business, I found the transition to using touch screen and android systems, completely alien. There I’d be with the grannies, all desperately stabbing at their phone screen with one cumbersome finger and then scouring the bus queue for a young person to ask for help.aaeaaqaaaaaaaan9aaaajde1mmixotm2ltgyotktngm4nc04zjizltu5otuwoddkngewoa

Then I went through a real spate of Killing Phones. Usually by mixing water with the hand-set: placing it in a tupperware box with rice doesn’t work folks, I know because I’ve tried. After writing off several hundred pounds of Smart phones, I conceded that I was (a) not smart and (b) could not be trusted with grown –up technology so I found myself with a handset that could basically make calls and write texts, for the sole purpose of safety whilst out and about running. Gradually over time, I managed to rebuild enough confidence to allow myself a HTC and after smashing the screen (a new killing method over the usual death-by-drowning Modus Operandii), I got a Samsung with huge shock absorber casing and this survived a long time. At last, when I became a student and required to travel from Brunei to Malaysia for my residential classes, I got a Smart phone with dual SIM. 3-2-1, I’m back in the room and I was doing technology stuff and my own top –ups and Everything!

And then I got rubbish again. Technology must take a leap forward just when I’m almost caught up and competent. I’m taking this as a sign of getting older. Case in point, I received a lovely message from a running friend who had taken pictures at an event and captured two of someone from My Running Club. Since there was no official race photographer, they had posted all their pics to a Closed Group on FarceBoook but did I want to pass these finishing straight pics onto said team mate? Aye OK. That’s fine, sure thing. So I sent the pictures on to someone else from the club, as I had never met the runner in question. No worries.

So pictures sent by messenger save into a Gallery Folder for easy recall. No bother. However, to my slight confusion and dismay when I replaced my Asian SIM cards with my UK ones (one for the town and one for the south of the island if you would believe the ineptness of the Hebridean phone coverage), said pictures appeared rather prominently on my phone. One was the wallpaper and one was the locked screen-saver. Hmmm. How interesting. I’m walking out of the airport and I’m thinking I should top up my phone and change those pictures and then my Older person technology hitch kicks in: I select other pictures and crop them, but they don’t save! I repeat this action several times before the penny drops that this is just not working. I’m stuck with this strangers running pictures and nice as they are, I’m not particularly thrilled with having Some Young gent who I’ve never met, greeting me every day. But that he does, sprinting away on the screen of my phone whilst it’s on charge and there he is again, in the background whilst I’m flicking between FB, What’s App and Instagram. First world issues indeed!

I google my predicament with no resolve. Over the next few days, I start asking other people what phone they have in the hope that someone can show me how to work my own Ruddy Contraption. More days go passed. I get used to having this dude on my phone. I try a reboot. I ponder a factory re-set….not that the pictures are so terrible by the way but I didn’t want to turn up to the island as knowing my luck, someone would see and challenge why I had that screensaver. Alert the rumour mill, hashtag: inappropriate  😛

By now, I’m on the island and I feel a bit churlish, like some sort of stalker and my story starts to sound much more like an excuse than the truth. I FB message the phone manufacturer: they send me instructions to do what I already know how to do and which doesn’t work. I resign myself to staring at this running dude forever or resorting to deliberately breaking my phone. I go to a running club event and manage to suitably guard my phone, as if there are nefarious texts on there that could get me fired or arrested. Eventually I am busted on a trail run with a couple of local ladies who I come clean to, after “forgetting” and handing the phone over for some on-the-go snaps. I am a techno-failure at best and resounding letch at worst. It is suggested that the male in question might be a little bit too young and polite “for me” and they both basically ROFLOL. Oh Friths sake! This is serious. I cannot have these pictures on my phone, period. That evening, I turn the handset off and e-mail the online support from my laptop. Eventually it all gets resolved and I feel a little better as it’s not me, it’s a bug only with the DuoS version of my (now 3 versions behind) handset. After being asked why I didn’t “just delete” the pictures? Now it was my turn to feel smug “because the pictures are in the conversation with my friend and re-appear every-time we FB message, which is almost every day”. Nope. Another fail. There’s a setting for that too……

So runner guy has gone and has been replaced by a gender neutral, non-stalkerish picture of the croft. Just when I was getting used to him too. Not to worry; if I miss him, he’s still there in my messenger gallery folder! Can hardly wait to meet in person 😉

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